States of consciousness from a therapeutic perspective - part 2 - The Inner Child
Following on from Part 1 - Overview, we continue to describe the map of the states of consciousness from a therapy perspective. The inner child represents the part of us that is like a child and needs care like a child. A child needs someone to care for it. The reasoning/thinking part of a child’s brain does not start to really develop until the age 7-8 and some say the maturation of the rational/reasoning cortex functions do not fully ripen until we are in our 20’s.
The part of the brain that resonates most with the inner child is the Limbic part of the brain, also called the Mammalian Brain. Of course we don't have a real child inside... It is a state of consciousness that has to do with the functioning of our limbic brain. I find it very useful to refer to an “inner child” as a part of our inner landscape so we can navigate the territory of the limbic brain in a compassionate caring way that a mother would care for her child. I realise not everyone has positive caring mothering experiences so if that is you, I recommend to take a deep breath and use an image that works for you about caring …. I once drew this image below for myself and I imagined this came from the collective energy of caring mothers on the planet! Nearly all mammals care for their young offspring. They attend to their needs, protect and help the young offspring until they can help themselves.
I highly recommend, if you are not familiar with it, that you take a look at the hand model of the brain as it is something I am always referring to. The hand model, by Dr Dan Siegel, describes the brain mechanics of what happens when the inner child is running alone (frontal lobes offline “flipped our lid”) OR when the inner child is cared for (frontal lobes online - we are able to regulate emotions). Here is a video by Dr Dan Siegel himself, who is a professor in Psychiatry and researcher on the mindful brain, giving a simple explanation of his “hand model" of the human brain and what happens in different states of mind (8 min 15sec long) Watch Now on YouTube....
This is another great explanation of Dr Dan Siegel’s "hand model" (with animation) by Dr Russ Harris (3 minutes long) Watch Now on YouTube...
The limbic brain lies deep inside the middle of our brain. This view of the brain is a cut through the middle of the brain from the front to the back.... we are looking at one half of the brain from the inside.
The limbic brain functions through out the body via the Autonomic Nervous System. The Autonomic Nervous System is divided into the Sympathetic Nervous System (fight and flight) and the Parasympathetic Nervous System. The Parasympathetic Nervous System we can divide into a further 2 parts: 1. The Ventral Vagus Nerve (Connect, Rest and Digest) and 2. The Dorsal Vagus Nerve (primitive freeze/shut down response). The chart below shows the zones of the Autonomic Nervous System functioning.
The limbic part of the brain is responsible for most of the functions in the chart above. This includes non-verbal, emotional and relational experiences. This is the part of the brain that lights up with feelings, including gut feelings. The limbic brain is also the part of the brain that instigates the Flight, Fight, Freeze/Fawn responses in relation to traumatic situations. It also contains unresolved traumatic memory. If these traumas are not processed to “be over and I am safe now” then these memories can still play on and affect our daily life. Our neuroception then becomes a bit faulty, sometimes signalling danger when there is none there. It is like a fire alarm, it can go off for a real fire or for burnt toast - 2 very different situations. If we have unresolved traumatic memories, we can spend a lot of our time in the red or blue zone and find it hard to get into the green zone. Unresolved traumatic memories contain the consciousness of the "wounded child and the wounded child protector". I go into these 2 states in a little more detail below. Difficulty of getting into the green zone can mean attention to healing unresolved memories is warranted.... we need to attend to them like caring for a child.
The Limbic brain and autonomic nervous system fires 7 times faster than our reasoning thinking brain and is always scanning and responding to our environment automatically. From Stephen Porges' work on the "Polyvagal theory", the term "neuroception" has been coined to explain how the autonomic nervous system is automatically scanning and constantly changing according to circumstances. For example, if I am working with a client on a Saturday when I am the only one in the building, if I hear someone enter the building then a vigilance comes over me as my neuroception is on alert incase of danger. In the chart below, I move out of the green zone a bit into the red zone. I notice this and need to pause the session as I am no longer in rest and social engagement with my client. Once I know it is someone safe there, then my nervous system can come to rest and I can continue the session. This is a normal physiological function of our nervous system to keep us safe.
Often the inner child(limbic brain/autonomic nervous system functioning) is mostly unconscious in adults as it is non-verbal, emotional and relational. This is where mindfulness comes in. To be aware of what is happening with our bodies and feelings is to be aware of our inner child. Here are 2 categories of how I see the inner child’s presence and communication is known to us:
1. Through the Body
All of the body in general, especially below the diaphragm, is the domain of the Inner Child. The Autonomic Nervous System goes to all parts of the body. When memories are unresolved they are often stored and compartmentalised in the body. As the saying goes “the issues are in the tissues”. Well known psychiatrist, Bessel Van Der Kolk, wrote his book, “The Body Keep the Score”, to teach how the body/mind and brain are not separate. A large study called “Adverse Child Events” Study showed that people with a high score of adverse child events (such as physical/emotional/sexual abuse) have a much higher rate of chronic illness than the general population (illnesses such as chronic migraines, heart disease and cancer).
2. Through all Feelings and Needs
Feelings and emotions are a normal part of being human and are associated with the limbic brain. Feelings are always coming and going … this is their nature. The purpose of feelings is as an indicator of what is needed. ie. I feel sad and need comfort or I feel hungry and need to eat. Children cannot fulfil their needs and need an adult for support. Then, as an Adult, it is then up to us to take care of our own needs. Our feelings are the way our inner child communicates with us. If we are in tune with our feelings and needs then self care is natural and easy. If we have had disruption to learning healthy self care in the past then we may need to work on becoming aware of these needs. There are a whole range of different feelings which is the domain the inner child. Feelings can also include all unresolved memories, flashbacks, triggers, panic attacks, distress, grief, anxiety, depressions etc. These more distressing feelings can be the inner child/limbic brain holding unresolved memories. Non-Violent communication has wonderful training and resources on learning to connect with our feelings and needs. Here are links to a couple of PDF charts provided by the Centre of Non Violent Communication to help us identify what our feelings and needs are.
When it comes to healing, if we understand what happens with the nervous system then we can learn practical ways to learn to care for our inner child. It is important to first learn to be present to our body, feelings and needs in a safe and tolerable way. For some this may require safe connection with a healer or therapist for support until we learn to do it ourselves. As human beings, we are wired for connection so we actually regulate our limbic brain via safe connection with others. If we did not have that as a child then we can learn to do this with others who are compassionate and can hold a safe and non judgemental space for us.
We can further divide the child consciousness up into another 3 categories….. Always remembering this is a compassionate formulation and all these sub categories of child consciousness are there for an important reason. We all have these subcategories in one way or another.
Natural Child - The natural child is comfortable in their own skin and has the capacity to be playful, creative, express all feelings and needs and feels connected with others and life. This is the child part that can spontaneously express, play and create for the pure enjoyment of being alive. This is also a very intuitive part of us, including our gut feelings.
Wounded Child - holds all wounded painful feelings and unfulfilled needs from past traumatic experiences that are not healed and resolved. Examples of the wounded child being present are triggered feelings of fear, distress or shame that seems out of context with the situation. Wounds happen for the child when an experience becomes too overwhelming for the brain to process. This includes any traumatic event or any core emotional need not being met in a “good enough way”. The areas of core emotional needs of a child are here (as defined by Schema Therapy):
A secure attachment to others - there is an emotionally safe base to go to when you need soothing or care
Freedom to express valid needs and feelings - You can express feelings and needs….
Autonomy, competence and a sense of identity
Spontaneity and play
Realistic limits and self-control
Our personality develops around our childhood experiences and how our needs were met in these core areas.
Wounded Child Protector - When traumatic events occur (which includes the core emotional needs not being met in a good enough way) we develop a part that tries to protect and manage the painful feelings of the wounded child. This adaptation has strategies to be able to survive traumatic experiences. The flip side of strategies is that they often become our "superpower", our strengths and gifts we can give to the world. For example, often people in the helping industries are self sacrificing and do a wonderful job caring for others. However, to keep balance they sometimes need to learn to take care of their own needs.
Any wounds that we have are there for a reason and are worthy of our deep compassion. The wounded and protector parts hold core beliefs that can keep us in painful patterns in our life. Beliefs can be something like “I am not good enough” OR “I am in danger” OR “I am powerless”. The good new is that these beliefs can be changed!
Most of us have wounds from the past. In Ancient Wisdom societies, wounds were dealt with as part of the culture. Medicine Men and Women kept track of who needed healing in the community and traumas were dealt with immediately. They recognised this was so important to have a healthy functioning community. Now Mental Health problems are epidemic and part of the reason for this, I believe, is due to the mass avoidance of healing past traumas. However, there are a large number of courageous beings who are willing to do the work it takes to heal and let go, then to help others do the same.
In the next part to this series we will explore the consciousness of the Grounded Adult OR sometimes I call this state the Inner Mother/Father/Parent.
If any part of this article has triggered discomfort, then I encourage you to please reach out to what supports you or, alternatively, you can go to my Resources Blog Here