Building Foundation - Resourcing
"The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases"
Carl Jung
Resourcing is a huge topic and after 30 years working in health and exploring many modalities, I realise there are probably as many resources as there are people on the planet!! Basically a resource is anything that supports you to regulate your emotions and come to more of a state of calm in your body/mind.
In my experience everyone has their own unique collection of resources that I call your “toolkit”! These are the tools you pull out when the waves get too big to navigate or if the storm hits. Every year around storm season in Queensland the government advertises to get your storm kit ready! So it can be incredibly useful to have a plan when we are overcome by stormy situations.
It is important to have a number of tools in your toolkit. If one resource is not available then you have others as a back up. As the saying goes, “don’t put all your eggs in the one basket” because if that basket gets dropped then you lose all your eggs.
Here are a few examples of resources I have found to be helpful over the years and which may or may not be helpful for you. There are many more than what I have listed and maybe it will prompt you to find your own. No one thing works for everyone and it sometimes takes a bit of experimentation to find what helps. However, I do find that therapy is more successful if you have the basics of support in the following 4 categories:
FOOD, SLEEP, EXERCISE & FUN
I have divided the following listed resources into my Holistic approach categories plus adding emergency resources.
Things to do in case of an emergency (Australian resources)
Phone Lifeline 24 hr support 13 11 14
Call your local GP or present to your local emergency department
Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467
Age 12-25 Headspace
Age 5-25 Kids helpline
Physical Resources
Are using the body (as it directly influences the mind and vice versa)
Regular exercise is a foundation ie. walking, dancing, yoga, going to the gym, gardening…
Unprocessed and wholesome diet is an important foundation
Drinking enough water (another foundation)
Reducing Caffeine and replacing with non-caffeinated alternatives.
Certain Herbs, vitamins, minerals or medication
Improving Sleep is a foundation
A good routine of bedtime, waking, eating, exercising
Soothing through the 5 senses things that calm or distract you … some examples are touch (soft fluffy fabrics or putting your hand on your heart), smell (a nice aroma that you like), Sound (calming music), Taste (savouring a few bites of something pleasant without overeating!), Sight (favourite movie or tv show).
Do something that tones the vagus nerve such as singing, humming or having a massage or craniosacral treatment
Mental Resources
Are using our intelligence, thoughts and thinking.
Reading a good book
Watching a movie or documentary that you are interested in or something that makes you feel good
Working out if this is something you can change or not
Practicing Radical Acceptance of the things you cannot change
Attend a 12 step meeting
Empower yourself with knowledge about your condition
Problem solving (like a puzzle), accomplish some tasks on the list
Have a mindfulness or meditation practice to go to
Remember something good that happened or that you contributed to
Emotional Resources
Are those assets and skills within ourselves that we can rely on to take care of ourselves
Finding a way to be caring or compassionate towards yourself. Even if you say something like ‘I am willing to be open to learn how to be caring and compassionate towards myself’
Cultivating self compassion. Buddhist Psychologist Kristen Neff talks about having a self compassion statement something like this… “This is a moment of suffering, suffering is a part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment, may I have compassion for myself right now.
If you feel unsafe, then find a place that feels safe to you like your bedroom or a local tree in a park or an imaginary safe place.
Our many emotions usually have a need associated with them. Be curious what the need might be. Sometimes you can brainstorm with a feelings/needs list. Here a couple supplied by the Centre for Non Violent Communication.
Social Resources
As human beings we are wired for connection and can regulate our limbic brain through connection with other living beings.
Reach out to someone you feel good and safe with. Or if no-one is available then watch a video or movie that has other mammals and is connecting or/and helping others.
Connect with pets or videos with pets
Get out of the house to a place where others are hanging out such as a market or park
Go through the in person checkout rather than the self automated check out.
Ring a helpline or see a counsellor/therapist or attend a 12 step group
Join a regular group, Facebook group or community project you are interested in
Spiritual Resources
Is very broad but is basically anything that gives you a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves and that usually involves a search for meaning. This section overlaps with all the other sections already mentions and, in my experience, is an important part of therapy as we all have a Higher Self (that part of us that is Compassionate, Caring, Curious, Calm, Clear, Creative, Courageous, Confident & Connected).
Find a group/faith that has values that you resonate with and support you to make meaning in times of difficulty.
Practise a technique that creates deep calm, relaxation and transcendence. Often such techniques have ancient spiritual Philosophy’s connected with it…. Things I have done in the past are Transcendental Meditation, Yoga, Qi Gong, Chanting Mantras, Prayer, Shamanic Drumming,
Connecting to anything that opens you to the Spirit of all things. I find the most common resource that is helpful for people is spending time in nature. I also find looking into the night sky a wonderful resource.
12 Step Meetings such as Coda, Al Anon, AA, NA, Adult Children of Alcoholics
Remind yourself of unconditional love and that it does exist for you. Find what you love and what you believe loves you. An analogy I use is that the Sun does not shine on people discriminately….it shines and gives life to all on the planet. And, the sun is always shining even if the clouds are covering it temporarily